What a difference two weeks can make!

So . . . two weeks ago we left the doctor's office feeling quite nervous and very helpless.  The boys weighed one ounce from a pound (Baby A, one under and Baby B, one over) and that 2 oz. discrepancy placed them at a 13-15% weight difference.  The "worry" benchmark for Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) would be at 20%, and even upon calm prompting, the doctor refused to tell us what our next steps would be should we hit that not-so-great number, citing the fact that all I would do was worry, and that wouldn't help any of the three of us in any positive way.  (He also forbade us to do any research on our own, since what is online doesn't give the whole picture and as he put it, "It's pretty scary stuff.")

And so we left, knowing full well there is nothing either one of us can do to change the blood flow within the placenta and/or the way the babies are sharing their source of food and nutrients.  All we could do was pray.

And so we did.  And just one day shy of two weeks later, we returned to the doctor's office . . .

Dr. Stark let us listen to their heartbeats first and foremost, so that we could have some audio confirmation as to how they're doing.  155 and 153 beats per minute . . . good.  We still held our breath.  First came Baby A . . . in the breech position (he turned again!), and measurements were taken--head circumference and femur length.  The ultrasound tech quickly typed notes into the computer system.  Dr. Stark sat near my feet, one hand on my leg, watching the screen in silence.  Then came Baby B . . . head down (he must have flipped too!), and again, measurements.  More typing.

Dr. Stark turns towards both Raleigh and I, and said, "Well, just eyeballing it here . . . I don't see any evidence of twin-to-twin."  I think we both let out a sigh of relief and I'm pretty sure, a tear of gratitude ran down my cheek just as I looked heavenward to thank the Lord and all of our family's angels.

By the time the appointment was over, we learned that Baby B had grown 5 more ounces (weighing a total of 1 lb, 6 oz.) and Baby A had closed the gap by growing 6 more ounces (weighing a total of 1 lb., 5 oz.)  Not only are they measuring where they should on the singleton weight chart for 24 weekers, but now that they're bigger, the 1 ounce difference between the two means less, and their weight discrepancy is a mere 4.5%--less than half the ideal maximum of 10%.  Hooray!  We are SO happy!

THANK YOU to all who prayed along with us for the past two weeks, and who continue to keep all 5 of us in thoughts and prayers during the coming weeks, months, and years ahead.  TTTS can develop at any time, however with each passing week of good growth on behalf of both boys, our chances of developing the condition decrease dramatically.  We still have to see the perinatologist every 2 weeks to monitor the condition of the babies (as well as occasional visits with my regular OB/GYN to ensure my well being), so although we aren't out of the woods yet, we are standing at a decent clearing and are going to continue to be watched carefully by experts for the remainder of the pregnancy.

I think just how far both boys have come since just two weeks ago . . . and I am excited to see where they'll be in another two!  Hooray for healthy babies!

Please, spare me the obvious.

• "Three boys?!  Wow--you're going to have your hands full!"
• (Looking at Blake): "He's how old?  And you're expecting twins by March?" (Big eye roll followed by a very sarcastic tone): "Good luck with that!"
• "Three kids under a year . . . wow, that's going to be tough!"

Yes, folks . . . we know.  Our situation isn't exactly typical and may not fit your vision of a perfect family.  But please, spare us the obvious.  We are well aware having three young children will likely challenge us in ways we would not have been should Blake have been an only child for some time longer.  We have already felt many emotional, physical, and financial effects of our status (Can you say, BLESSED?! We do!), and we are not shirking down from the responsibility of being the best parents we can be, to all of our children.  If you cannot say something encouraging, then please do not say anything at all.  Preparing for twins is stressful enough (if you have never done so, that just leaves less room for you to assume you know what it's like!); throw in the fact that we already have an amazing young one at home, and you might start to understand how constant reminders about how difficult life could be come spring is not helpful.  You may not realize how your comments come across, but verbalizing such things only contribute to stress and feelings of overwhelm, which are not supportive; please filter.

Instead, we relish and very much appreciate the comments that are supportive, and encourage us in our upcoming adventure . . .

• "Two more boys?  You certainly are blessed!"
• "You guys are such wonderful parents to Blake . . . these next two are lucky to have you!"
• "I can only imagine how you must be feeling . . . I'd love to help out in any way that I can, if needed.  Call me!"
• "You'll do great!  I just know it!"
• "I'm sure you are both still a bit overwhelmed, but I am so confident that you will continue to be amazing parents."

And, just for those who have wondered (whether or not you were bold enough to ask), here are a few other things we'd like folks to know (so you don't have to ask):

1. (After an obvious head-to-toe inspection of my body, catching my growing belly and an eight month old on my hip): Yes, we know what causes this.  And no, we don't want to hear your thoughts on family planning.

2. Yes, we are Catholic; and proud of it!

3. Yes, we're glad it's us and not you, too!

4. We are not prepared (nor willing) to discuss the future family planning of our family with anyone at this time; thank you for voicing your opinion, though.  (Although I will admit, I'm tempted to answer the "You're done after this, right?" question with "No we plan to keep going until we get an ugly one!")

5. Only God knows why He's given us three children so close together, yet we will always be grateful to Him for so many blessings.

And the comments about us having Irish twins (or triplets)?  Well, they're getting pretty old too.  Before you use that phrase to describe our family, please look up the origin of the phrase and be sure that's exactly the message you mean to convey.  Thank you.

One tooth, Two teeth, One poo, Two potty?!

Could it be true?  Really?!

Our little boy is growing up so fast!

Without any sign of serious teething (he's been drooling for months, as most babies do), I was surprised to find a sharp, white ridge of a tooth along Blake's bottom gum line, on October 24.  His first tooth!

Just a little more than two weeks later, on November 9th, I was surprised to feel another sharp ridge, right next to the first.  Tooth number two!  And much like the first time, we had very few signs anything was happening in that cute mouth of his.  (Now if only he'd show them off so I can upload a photo!  They're SO cute!)

And that same day . . . (this is where it gets really crazy) . . . Blake pooped in the potty!  He'd started going in his diaper in the early evening (he doesn't hide it well) and Raleigh and I thought he'd finished by about an hour later when we were getting ready for a bath.  Two seconds after hitting the water it was obvious he was still working on something, so I quickly pulled him out and sat him over the potty.  Raleigh and I encouraged him to keep going, and after a few minutes of giving us a rather perplexed look ("You want me to do what, where?!"), he began concentrating and a couple grunts later, he pushed out 3 fairly massive little man poops!  And he peed too!  Raleigh and I praised Blake in celebration, and I urged Raleigh to get the camera.  (Who could let a milestone like this go undocumented?)

Blake smiled SO big . . . you could tell he was very proud of himself, as were we!  I'll keep the "evidence" shot in our private family albums, but here's one of our proud and big little man!

Both Raleigh and I reveled in the success of the day, and have talked about it numerous times afterwards.  (Who would have thought our 8 month old would have pooped on the potty, without any "real" training?!) However, the story doesn't end there . . . last night after I returned home from a baby class at the hospital (turns out there is a lot to breastfeeding twins!), I kissed a sleeping Blake and Raleigh pointed me to the bathroom, where a diaper was folded up on the back of the toilet.

"Is it clean?" I asked, noticing that it appeared to be empty and unused.

"No, I think it was wet," Raleigh responded.  "But it's there because that's where I took it off . . . and where Blake went poop again."

"What?!  Really?!"  I was floored.  He went poop in the potty again!  Hooray!

Now before we get lots of folks telling us this is nothing special . . . it is!  And for those who say that this doesn't "mean" anything . . . it does!  We understand that Blake isn't likely to trade in diapers for little briefs any time soon, however, we think this is a good start!  And at least he's getting the idea of where to go and more so, isn't afraid to.  So . . . we'll keep at it and see if something more consistent develops!  Heck, if we can have only two kids in diapers sooner rather than later (versus three), I'll take it!

Yes, I did!

You can Color Me Rad (and call me rad, too), because I just ran a 5k!  And oh yeah, I'm 17 weeks pregnant . . . with twins!

I got permission from my doctor (and babies' doctor) first (and on more than one occasion), so don't think I was a complete nut for doing this.  (Well, if 5Ks aren't your thing, you probably do anyways, but that's ok.  They're not for everyone.)

The race wasn't timed, so I have no idea how long it took me.  And I didn't run the entire race--I walked some too.  What I can say is that folks did start before me and finish behind me, and I walked half as often as I ran (at most), so I definitely did a job worthy of being proud of--and I am!

Proof of my accomplishment is below!

Before . . .

After!

See?!  Both kiddos ran the race with me!

A BIG thank you and CONGRATS to my dear friend Jen and her wonderful family who invited me to join their team (even before we learned we were expecting), and who accomplished goals of their own that day, too!  I think we each rocked our (colored) socks off!

 

In It to Twin It!

Ok, wonder no more!  Watch the slideshow below to learn who we will be welcoming into our family in approximately 5 months:

As one might guess, we are learning LOTS about our little ones.  Here are some facts about twins that folks might be interested to know:

• Women who have a family history of fraternal twins have a higher chance of producing fraternal twins themselves, as there is a genetically linked tendency to hyper-ovulate (releasing more than one egg at a time). There is no known genetic link for identical twinning.  Other factors that increase the odds of having fraternal twins include maternal age, fertility drugs and other fertility treatments, nutrition, and prior births.  (In other words, there is no medical “reason” for us to have conceived twins!)
• Identical boy/boy twins are the LEAST common of all twin types, preceded by (in order of most common to least) fraternal boy/girl , fraternal girl/girl, fraternal boy/boy, and identical girl/girl.
• There are several types of twins:
• Fraternal twins are two separate fertilized eggs that are implanted; each has their own sac and own placenta through which they feed.  (In other words, two placentas = fraternal twins, always.)
• Monochorionic-Diamniotic identical twins are one fertilized egg that split 4-8 days after conception; each has their own sac but share the same placenta.  (In other words, one placenta = identical twins, almost always.  In a very few amount of cases, fraternal twins’ membranes can “fuse” at the implantation cite to utilize/share the same placenta yet remain fraternal.)
• Monochorionic-Monoamniotic twins are one fertilized egg that split 9-12 days after conception; they share the same placenta AND same amniotic sac.  (In other words, one sac for both babies = identical twins, always.)
• If the division of the fertilized egg occurs later than the 12 days then conjoined twins are usually the result.  There are many complications with conjoined twins, since they share many of the same organs as the “split” is between the two is not complete.
• Monozygotic (identical) twinning (one fertilized egg splitting into two) occurs in birthing at a rate of about three in every 1000 deliveries worldwide.  As far as scientists can determine, there is no reason why the egg splits - it's a spontaneous and random occurrence.
• Identical twins do not have the same fingerprints, due to the fact that even in a small space inside the womb, the babies have contact with different parts of this environment, which gives small variations in the same digital, making them unique.  And although identical twins share DNA, their DNA is not exactly identical--leaving the opportunity for physical and other obvious differences between the two.

 And a couple other little interesting tidbits:

• If identical twin girls marry and have children with identical twin boys, their children are genetically half-siblings instead of cousins due to the shared/similar DNA.  Eeew! 
• Did you know naturally conceived fraternal twins could have different fathers?!  If the mom has sex close enough to ovulation with two different men, and happens to spontaneously release two different eggs, then it is absolutely possible to have two babies by two different fathers AT ONCE!!  This has happened before (the children born at the same time by the same mother were of different races and DNA tests were used to prove paternage was not the same!), so there is proof!

Blake's New Role

It came in the mail on Friday, and and we put it on for the first time yesterday afternoon.  It looks absolutely adorable on him.  Perfect size, color, and print.  Which is good, because do you know how difficult it is to find a size 6 month t-shirt that says "Big Brother"?

It's so strange having a baby and watching/experiencing your body change so much. Not just during pregnancy, but after too!  (There is much I could say here, but will leave the details to your imagination.)  Anyways, it's strange to be postpartum and not have any period, considering I was SO regular before getting pregnant with Blake. Even though the doctor's say that's normal and nothing to worry about, I did. It felt so weird for me in fact that on a whim I asked Raleigh to get a pregnancy test from the store. He did and a little over 3 weeks ago, I took the test--positive. Thought it HAD to be a fluke, so took the 2nd test in the morning--positive. STILL couldn't believe it (though the doctor said such tests rarely give false positives) and so requested a blood test the next day ("Ok, prove it to me," I thought)--positive. So there we have it--we're pregnant again!

After the positive blood test, we scheduled the ultrasound for the following week since I already had some time off from work. Because we don't have any "period" date to go off of, we knew we'd rely greatly on the ultrasound to determine how far along we are.

Well, we did have the ultrasound as scheduled and it revealed two very big things:
1. We were (at that time) 10 weeks along already. (Estimated due date March 8th--just about 2 weeks after Blake's 1st birthday.)
2. We are pregnant with twins.

Yes, you read that correctly--there were clearly two little heartbeats on the screen, and two little bodies making their moves. I don't think Raleigh or I could speak for several minutes.

I think you get the drift by our surprise that this wasn't our "plan" per say, but as Raleigh has reminded me, God's plan trumps ours every time! I mean, it HAS to be.  Getting pregnant at any time is a big miracle. Take into consideration all the facts regarding our particular case at this particular time (I'll spare you the details but can assure you we are very responsible people) and us getting pregnant now is an even bigger miracle.  And to be pregnant with twins when twins/multiples don't run in either side of the family . . . again, what are the odds?! So as we work to grasp our incredible reality, we truly believe that these children are another blessing from our Father above and we welcome them excitedly.

That being said, we are simultaneously TERRIFIED. Not only is a twin pregnancy considered "high risk" for all sorts of things (including pre-term labor and medical/health issues with the babies--super scary in its own right, especially after the trauma we experienced at the time of Blake's birth), but it is much more expensive as well. We have to see specialists from here on out, and our frequency of visits increases. This is all pregnancy-related costs of course, however after the babies come, we're in for some serious financial output as well. I mean, 3 kids within a little over a year?! Who does that?!  (Don't answer that!)

We always knew we wanted more than one child, and had figured we'd at one point in time work to give Blake a sibling--we just didn't think it'd be so soon or that more than one child at once could even be a real possibility! We're still trying to wrap our heads around it and figure out exactly how this will work.  (Where will we put another crib? What about TWO cribs?! What about day care? Is it even feasible for three? Time off from work for another maternity leave without pay or does it make more sense for me to stay home now? If I do stay home, how will that look financially, etc.?)  There are just so many questions. But somewhere deep down, we have faith we'll figure that all out. At least I pray that the snippets of faith we feel now find a way to stay in our hearts and minds with a little more (and increasing) permanency as time goes on. Although it's getting better each and every day, we both feel fairly overwhelmed.

Now that we know where we're at, I'm feeling the push to tell people since we won't be able to keep the pregnancy a secret for long--I have already "popped" this past week and (at least to Raleigh and I), feel like I'm visibly pregnant.  We're 12 weeks along now and showing like I did at 16 weeks (or later) with Blake.  I do have some anxiety telling folks (not including my side of the family and close friends, who know our character and love us unconditionally), as I don't want people projecting negative thoughts/images onto our children, making any implication that they were/not wanted. Truth is, these children WERE wanted AND loved before they were even conceived; the unscheduled timing of their arrival doesn't change that fact.

Still, I am in a bit of shock about it all and still processing. (At least as of the ultrasound appointment) I weigh less now than I did before we were pregnant with Blake, and besides having the appetite of a sumo wrestler, still don't have ANY "regular" pregnancy symptoms. If I didn't take the test on the whim, I'm not sure when I'd find out.  (I asked the doctor and he said I'd probably figure it out when I'm about 16 weeks with a hard and abnormally large belly and/or felt "something" moving around in there.)  That would have really freaked me out!  And to think I used to make fun of those girls on television who say they never knew they were pregnant!

As we think ahead of how the next few months will go, I feel pretty scared, moreso than when we were pregnant with Blake, probably because now I feel like I KNOW what we've gotten ourselves into. And Blake is such a good baby--if our hands are joyfully full with him, how in the world can we take on another two, even if they are angels themselves?!

Still, it will be ok.  We don't know how exactly, however we really, truly believe that.  And Blake is going to be an awesome big brother; we have no questions there either.  :)

If you're reading this blog I'm assuming it's because you know Raleigh and/or I and love us as family.  As such (and it might be obvious), I'm asking that you PLEASE pray for us--all 5 of us. Pray that Raleigh and I make good choices . . . about everything. Pray that Blake continues to feel loved and cared for, and transitions to his role of big brother well/easily. Pray for a healthy and smooth pregnancy, and smooth delivery of two very healthy babies (preferably, AFTER Blake's first birthday, if at all possible). Pray that I can make it "full term" (which is different for twins, I hear), and the details of "how in the world are we going to do this?!" somehow fall into place and become clear. Pray, pray, pray.  It's about all we can do right now as well!

Belly Laughs

And THIS is something I want to remember for a long, long, LONG time . . .