And back down . . .

So after yesterday's good news, today's less-than-good news tastes more than bitter. 

Ethan will need open heart surgery to repair the hole in his heart; it is simply not healing on its own and the increasing weight difference between the twins (currently 1.5 lbs) is too much to ignore. Surgery will be in approximately one month.

Sigh.

All day I have been fighting all sorts of feelings about this, and am doing my best to remain both grateful and positive, which has proven more challenging than one might think.

Continued prayers for our tribe are much appreciated...

Blake's Brain--the results are in!

For those who have been following our family since God blessed us with our first son...

So today was our boys' 2 month check up. Carson weighs just over 10 lbs, which is a gain of about 4 lbs in 6 weeks. All looks good for him! Ethan weighs 8.5 lbs, which is a little less than 3 lbs in the same timeframe. All is good for him too, although his growth is definitely slower since he doesn't eat as much as his brother due to VSD tiring him out during feedings. Checked his oxygen level, which is fine, so good there. He has an echocardiogram tomorrow, which hopefully will tell us more on whether or not the hole in his little heart is closing on its own or not (gulp).

In other news . . . DRUM ROLL PLEASE . . . Blake's one-year follow up MRI results are in and all but one of the spots that were "never going to go away" are gone!! In fact, all spots in the critical language center of his brain have disappeared! The lone spot remaining is on the side of the brain, smaller in size than before (only 4 mm), and now characterized not as dead tissue but as "high density white matter" which can sometimes exist in folks without previous injury. Our God is an AWESOME God and Blake proves to be a miracle again! A perfect little head on our perfect little boy! 

Now for those angels to heal Ethan's heart so he can catch back up to Carson in size and remain healthy and happy . . .

Thank you to everyone for your prayers; keep them coming!!

Boy Smells

Raleigh: Did you notice that Carson already smells like 'boy'?

Me: What?! 'Boy'?!

Raleigh: Yeah, 'boy'. If we don't give him a bath at night, he smells like 'boy'. Here . . . (He lifts Carson's head to my face, at which point in time I give a quick sniff over.)

Me: That's 'boy' smell?

Raleigh: Yup. (As he issues me a quick proud papa smile.)

Me: Well then, I guess I have a lot more of that to look forward to, don't I?

Here's to a lifetime of 'boy' smells, and all that comes with it. :)

I choose...

Laundry.
Dishes.
Write Thank You notes.
Sort mail.
Work on journals/baby books.
Upload and order photographs.
Organize baby gear and hand-me-down clothing.

I have SO much to do.  Really, the list is quite exhausting.

Yet instead of any of these, I choose to hold my babies.  Stroke their hair.  Trace my finger over their soft cheeks, and lay a gentle kiss upon each one.  Soak in each moment of this never-to-be-repeated day in their babyhood.

I choose to sit on the floor with Blake midday, barefoot and in our pajamas, and stack blocks as quickly as possible before he knocks them to the floor.  To delight in his boyish giggle and that irresistible toothy smile.  To remember how happy he is to simply have me here, playing with him.

I choose to breathe deeply, and remember that today is just one day.  One day, that I will never get to see again.  So take it in, I will.
Everything else can wait.