More Time

Last week Mom and I traveled to the big town of Ipswich, South Dakota to spend some time with my Grandma Ruth.  As many already know, late last year my grandma was diagnosed with having a grade 4 glioma brain tumor, and after a biopsy in December and further testing at the Mayo Clinic in January, it was determined that the tumor is one that will more than likely grow fairly fast and that we probably only have anywhere a few weeks to a few months to enjoy Grandma's presence with us here on Earth.

I know her home is not here, however I am still not quite ready to let her go.  As I say this, I also readily acknowledge that I have no ability to control the timing of things for her, or anyone else that I love for that matter.  And I know it seems silly to say this, but I just wish we had more time.

I want to hear all her stories--how she first met grandpa and what their courtship was like, what she thought and felt as she made a conversion of faith, how was it to get indoor plumbing/television/computers/etc. for the first time, how in the world did she manage to birth and raise 14 children (for one of which she was taken to the hospital by home-crafted snowmobile as a blizzard had moved in at the most inopportune time), what it was like teaching in a single-room country schoolhouse . . . I want to hear what is on her heart--what were/are her biggest fears/hopes/dreams, what does she consider her biggest success, what (if anything) does she regret or wish she could do again, how does one continue on after the loss of a loved one (in particular, a spouse), or even, when facing their own death . . .  I want to learn and perfect her most famous recipes.  I want her to meet my children, to hold them, hug them, and love them as she was able to hold, hug, and love me . . .

All that being said, I know we don't have any more time than we do.  And I don't even know what that is.  So I'm just going to soak up every little bit that I can, and keep the happy memories I have of her close to my heart always, with these past 5 days among some of my most favorite.

I love you, Grandma . . .