Six Months, One Year, Two Years

Wow.  Time moves so fast.  And yet at times, the opposite seems true.

These past two weeks have held much emotion for me, as I've pondered where we were 6 months, one year, and also two years ago . . .

SIX MONTHS AGO

I went from hospital to hospital for this:

and this:

I prayed.  I held hands.  I cried.  I paced the hallways.  I didn't sleep, yet I was exhausted beyond description.  I prayed some more.  I shouted at the walls in angry rants.  I prayed.  I was overwhelmed and unsure.  I cried even more.  I asked questions.  And I prayed. My heart hurt.

And now, six months later, I get to experience this:

ONE YEAR AGO

I went from this:

to this:

I knew life was going to change come February, but that's about all I knew.  The boys came and I couldn't see straight. I wasn't sleeping. (Ok I WAS sleeping, but in increments too short and too few to really count.) I was head over heels in love with the two newest members of our family, and yet I was miserable at the same time. I was overwhelmed to the point where it felt like I was drowning on dry land. I had everything I ever wanted--and yet didn't want--at the same time. My heart hurt.

And now, one year later, I get to experience this:

TWO YEARS AGO

I went from this:

to this:

In what felt like seconds our world was turned upside-down, and not in the way we had imagined or hoped for. I was scared. I didn't sleep. I cried. I spent countless hours simply watching and praying, and praying and watching. I would sneak kisses when the nurses weren't looking and dreamed of the day I could hold my happy, healthy little boy. I held little fingers and sobbed into the chest of a strong husband who was as scared and as uncertain as I.  I was overwhelmed.  I prayed and I prayed and I prayed.  My heart hurt.

And now, two years later, I get to experience this:

So much can happen, so fast.  I may have plans and I can dream, however the Lord only knows where I will be six months, one year, and two years from now. 

And no matter what I face, I can be sure of one thing--God is bigger.