Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma Ruth,

Happy Birthday!  Although you would have been 88 down here yesterday, my guess is time doesn't quite work the same way up there and that instead of slowing down with your feet, you've only become quicker with your wings.  (Which is good, because my three little earthly angels are FAST and their Guardian Angels have to keep steady watch!)

It's been nearly 3.5 years since you flew away, yet in some ways I feel closer to you now than I did when you were walking this Earth with us.  See, I've thought of you COUNTLESS times since I last saw you in the flesh, and have felt your presence more times than not.  I'm sure you've noticed, however sometimes when I feel I overwhelmed or in need of a hug from you or Grandpa Emil, I wear the ring you gave me on my wedding day--a sign of a love much greater and bigger than myself.  Knowing that it was his gift to you on your 35th wedding anniversary (and that you wanted to bestow that gift to me) fills my heart with so much joy and love, I cannot explain!  The ring is a remembrance that even with all you and Grandpa endured, 35 (or rather, 55!) years was/is possible and however young in the journey, I am on my way to creating such a legacy of my own . . .

Speaking of legacy . . . HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO THIS?!  And by "this," I mean parenting a gaggle of children?  I mean, I'm only up to three but these three keep me on my toes more often than a world class ballerina.  I cannot imagine how life was like with 14 running/crawling/driving/jumping/walking around . . . seriously!

It may look like we're holding it together pretty well from up there, but then again, if that's the perspective you have, then I'm guessing you can also see how often we struggle.  When it comes to parenting, I feel like I'm failing miserably most of the time, and am praying that no one discovers what great frauds we are at this mom and dad stuff.  Yet, I do have hope that if you and Grandpa could manage to raise 14 happy and healthy children, that somehow Raleigh and I won't screw our kids up too bad and there is a chance we will leave a legacy in our children we can be proud of.

Thank you for watching over us, Grandma, and for the inspiration you give me even now, from the clouds.  I hope your birthday was heavenly (I know, cheesy pun) and look forward to feeling your presence again soon.  I hope I am making you (and Grandpa) proud . . .

All my love,
~Kimberly