Haiti--More Than a News Story

Haiti.

It has a place in my heart . . . really.  As much as I hated being there in October (for many reasons I'll explain in person, should you want to hear them), the children and the people hold a very special place in my heart.  I've been to other developing countries (China, Brazil, India . . .), yet none of them spoke to my heart in the same way Haiti did.  In three incredibly long yet short days I felt as much love for the souls I encountered as I did for the amount of anger I held for those that choose to pretend they are not there, or who knowingly make choices that continually reinforce the culture of poverty that permeates nearly every aspect of their lives.  I know I may not be making perfect sense to many of you; there's just so much going on in my mind right now, my heart is feeling the strain.  Thank you for bearing with me.

No matter how things were before the earthquake, though, we see how they are now . . .

I'm VERY thankful to report that we've made contact with the creche (orphanage) a couple of times now and today, was able to make contact with a family in Haiti who stopped by and then sent me a detailed report (and photos!) of the status of the creche.  (Praise the Lord!)  I'm paraphrasing, however this is basically what he said:

"I was able to stop by the creche today and visit with the staff and of course, the children.  Here is a rundown of what I saw and was told: first of all, everyone is safe and healthy. All of the children are living/sleeping outside under the tarps. The staff seemed to be doing amazing work with the children considering the tight space and the intensity of everything going on in Haiti right now. The kids seemed good as well and all in all I thought everyone was really positive. The director expressed concern that they may run out of food in a couple of weeks.  Keep in mind that they are also housing several of the creche workers and their families that have lost their homes, so they are feeding more than just the children. On a positive note, I walked around inside the building and it really looks good. There are a few cracks on the walls that I'm told were not there before the earthquake, but it really held up well. I would like to think that they could move the children back into the building relatively quickly, but I know that is a complicated issue.  The walls around the creche are mostly destroyed. Therefore, there is very little keeping people from the outside from entering.  Hopefully this will not be an issue.

Finally, I attached a handful of pictures.  Let me explain some of them. One is of the baby room. They are currently in the back of a delivery truck on mattresses. Far from ideal, but quite ingenious on the part of the staff. The stuff on the children's' faces is toothpaste. Everyone in the city is putting toothpaste under their noses to help with the smells.  Also, the picture of the cracked road is of the bridge right below the creche. This is a good thing because the roads are blocked off in both directions because of it so there is very little vehicle traffic going by the creche."

So . . . here you go.  I'm SO relieved to have this update; my stomach has been in knots since Tuesday evening and after this update, finally feel that I'm not constantly feeling the urge to throw up.  I've also finally been able to cry some, and release the energy I've been holding inside as I've waited with baited breath and many anxious families to hear any good news from a country that right now, doesn't have much to share.  Perhaps tonight I can enjoy a restful sleep as well, since that also has been in short supply lately.

Thank you all for YOUR support (prayers and love--I've felt them all!) over the past few days; they really are appreciated and I'm sure, are very helpful!  Keep them coming!  There is much work to be done in Haiti, despite the good news above.

And speaking of the work to be done, many of you have asked what you can to do help.  Besides prayers and warm wishes, should you want to make a monetary donation that will go directly to the creche and children we are serving through our adoption program, please feel free to visit either www.haitiadoption.org

or www.chinesechildren.org

and click Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund flashing icon on the left side of the screen.  Other than that, stay informed and be sure to remember Haiti.  Not just today when the photos of tragedy are flashing across your television screen, but also tomorrow and next week and next month, when the news cameras have gone home yet folks are still pulling the bodies of loved ones from rubble and rebuilding what's left of their lives in a poor country.  They'll need your love and prayers then too.

Thanks . . .
~Kimberly
P.S. The biggest thing now (besides immediate aid for those injured or in need of food, shelter, or water) is getting the children who are being adopted out of Haiti ASAP, whether or not the adoption is finalized.  (Since the process is at least a two-year process, in 99% of the cases, the adoption is NOT finalized.)  As I do what I can from a professional standpoint to advocate for those families still in process (and still a world away from their children whom they already love as their own), please pray that the appropriate channels open up and the right decisions are made to help everything fall into place.  It's more than difficult considering the circumstances, but we've already seen that nothing is impossible with Christ . . .

Roller Coasters No More

So I didn't think the day would ever come.  Ever.  I even laughed at the proposition when I heard the prediction as a child.  No way, jose.  It may be truth for some, but never for me.

Well, it finally happened.  I've officially grown out of some amusement parks.  Here's the story . . .

Yesterday Raleigh and I went to spend a day at Elitch's Amusement Park with our friends Brian and Mick before heading downtown to the Taste of Colorado.  It'd been years since we were last there, and figured it'd be a great way to hang out with each other, expend a bit of energy, and just have some fun before walking the streets of LoDo on the lookout for good local fare.

The first ride we went on was fun--Hollywood & Vine--a twirly ride where you're strapped in a car with one other person, and then the cars spin around a center point, faster and faster, with one end pointed up and the other towards the ground.  (Think spinning frisbee, tipped on its side.)  It was great.  A good warmer-upper for the more "exciting" rides deeper into the park.  We all exited laughing and having a good time.

Next was the famous Mind Eraser roller coaster.  This is the one on all the television commercials and can be seen from the highway.  I've been on it probably two dozen times before, although admittedly the last time I was probably still in my teens.  Regardless, we all stood in line and when it was our turn, buckled in with nervous excitement.  This time, the rattle of the track and the whoosh of the wind pushing past my face kept me from hearing Raleigh who was sitting beside me.  But as the cars came to an abrupt halt, and then slowly crept their way into the loading/unloading zone, I could hear him . . . groaning.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?  You okay?"

"Um, no."

The harnesses were released and I jumped out of my seat.  Raleigh was hobbling towards the ride's exit, not walking upright, and not moving quickly.  "The coaster jarred my back," he grimaced.  I could see the pain on his face.  "Oooh, this isn't good," I thought.

One quick look back towards Brian and Mick and my thought was confirmed.  There was Brian, lurched over the railing, puking his guts out.  "Nope, not good at all."

Mick and I managed to go on a couple more rides, while Raleigh sprawled himself on out every flat section he could fine (picnic tables, retaining walls, cement dividers, etc.) and Brian quietly sat nearby to watch.  (He did eventually remove himself to the car for an hour or so.)

And I was fine--as was Mick--until we hit the Half Pipe ride.  It's like a giant snow/skateboard that holds 8-10 people (facing out, back-to-back), which is mounted onto a larger "board" that while spinning in circles, moves up and down a mounted "half pipe" into the sky.  I cannot remember praying harder than I did for that ride to be over with, as within 30 seconds I thought I was going to die.  My head was POUNDING and it hurt so bad I was certain my brain had to be bleeding out my ears.  I was in so much pain I couldn't even cry, although I wished I could so there might be some relief.  No such luck, at least until the ride ended and I could stumble down the stairs towards my hurting hunny who was patiently waiting for us to give the thumbs up for and approval to exit.

Thumbs up I gave him, and we headed out of there shortly after that.  I never thought the day would come when amusement parks wouldn't be so much fun, but I think I found that day!  It definitely was not as much fun as I remember... 

Next time, we're sticking with Water World.  :)

Isn't love GRAND?!

Because I'm bursting at the seams to share, I'm just going to say it--WE'RE ENGAGED! Raleigh popped the question on the very edge of the Grand Canyon this past weekend, and we are both very excited! Here is the whole story (intricate details and all) for all those who want to know . . .

Ral and I headed out to AZ on Thursday, for a long weekend away. We had plans to see the Grand Canyon, which neither of us have seen before yet have wanted to see for many years. We each packed a small bag (didn't want to check any bags for any extra airline fees), and Ral strangely insisted on taking a backpack for hiking purposes. (I was surprised by this only because we usually don't go for much more than short walks because after wrenching for so many years, Ral's knees often don't last long; however I thought, "Hey--this is the Grand Canyon! Maybe he's going to give a valiant effort!")

Friday we got up and drove 3.5 hours from our hotel in Phoenix to the South Rim, two hours north of Flagstaff, AZ. The views were spectacular! I wish I knew how to describe it, however neither words (nor photos!) can accurately give one a sense of what it is like to stand on the edge of something so incredibly magnificent. Raleigh and I kept asking if it was really real, as the scene before us was so immense that it felt like just a few feet away there must be a backdrop painting hanging there, fooling the eyes. However the only painting that laid before us was the one God created upon the rocks--deep reds and browns and oranges--changing color right before our eyes as the shadows from the clouds and deep cliffs danced in the bright sunlight radiating from above.

After we excitedly jumped from the car and ran to the edge for our first peek (literally), we visited Mather Point and the Yavapai Observation Station, and took our time walking the Rim Trail. We then went to Grandview Point, where we ate our lunch on a rock overlooking the Canyon. It was here that Raleigh first surprised me and encouraged me to go on a hike with him down the trail. It was beautiful--and we both had a blast exploring on our own and heading into nooks and crannies of the hillside not immediately obvious from the trail (nor on the map), and finding ourselves on the edges of large overhangs and cliffs majestically floating above the Canyon floor. It was beautiful.


After a much more strenuous climb back up to the Rim (we didn't pay close enough attention to the map which had this trail marked as the only "very steep" one on the South side), we walked out on Moran Point, and eventually settled on a rock to watch the sun set at nearby Lipan Point. We quietly took in vast beauty before us as the sun crept closer to the top of the Canyon's edge, slowly disappearing behind the warm rocks. At the same time, a thunderstorm was rolling in from the northeast, and we enjoyed watching the sheets of white rain fall between us and the Canyon walls on the other side. We had a marvelous time and took in every moment of the breathtaking symphony of warm orange hues from the sunset to the West and of purple-blue tones from the storm to the Northeast. Again, we were surrounded with indescribable beauty.

We trekked back to the hotel that night, talking about the sights from the day, and how we both were very excited to see what the North Rim looked like--many of the locals' favorite side. Raleigh said that he was sure the following day would be even better than the one we just experienced, which I found hard to believe. "How do you know?" I asked him, hoping to gain a clue into what he had planned. "I just do," he said with a coy smile. "Plus, every day with me is a great one." I chuckled at Ral's cockiness and confirmed that he is right--I do enjoy myself when I'm with him. By midnight we reached our bed in the hotel and jumped in for a good night's rest; I don't think it was more than two seconds after our heads hit the pillows that we were out.

I got up bright and early (5:15 am) on Saturday morning and packed our stuff for the day. I briefly rustled around in the backpack to see if there was anything in there (I had a hunch), however after a few quick swipes of the hand I scolded myself and packed our lunch. After everything was ready, I woke Ral up and after he got dressed, we were on the road. We drove 6.5 hours around the canyon to the North Rim. (Only 10% of the folks who ever visit the Canyon every year make the extra trek to the North Rim--most people only go to the South Rim as it is much easier to get to.)

The North Rim was just as breathtaking as the South Rim, however VERY different! The weather was cooler, the colors were more dramatic and the drop-offs were far more intense. The surrounding scenery was much more colorful and fresh than that of the South Rim as well; there were open meadows with a velvet grass covering lined with dark green pines and bright yellow and orange aspens--a big contrast to the dusty desert sand and the dry scrub and brush we'd seen the day before.

After hiking to Bright Angel Point (a spectacular view!), Ral and I headed to the gift shop to scope for some souvenirs. I was very conscious of our budget, so I headed towards the magnets and postcards (fairly inexpensive) and picked up a few to keep. We then saw some Christmas ornaments which immediately caught my eye, as I always look to add at least one special ornament to the tree every year. There were frosted glass balls with hand-painted canyon landscapes on them, with "Grand Canyon, North Rim" and "Arizona" carefully inscribed on them--and next to them, some terracotta clay discs with Indian motifs and "Grand Canyon" written in bold, bright paint. The balls were $15 each, the discs were only $4 and some change. I really liked the balls, however knew that money could be spent elsewhere. It didn't take much convincing, however Raleigh encouraged me to grab the glass one that could add to our "tree of memories" that fills our house at Christmastime.

After writing and sending postcards to family, we put our water bottles in the backpack and headed towards a trail we'd spotted on the map earlier in the morning. Since we agreed to visit Page, Arizona and the southernmost point of Lake Powell on our way back to Phoenix (only a 27 mile detour), and we would need sunlight to see anything there, we knew we had to leave 3.5 hours or so before sunset in order to make it. I took note of the time and told Raleigh we had about 1 hour to do our hike.

So with that, we started out on what we knew would be the final hike of the day, and of our time at the Grand Canyon--the North Kaibab Trail. We hiked for a good 15 minutes before I posed the first question: "Raleigh, how come you don't like to hike at home because your knees hurt, yet here at the Grand Canyon that's all you've wanted to do and you haven't complained once?" "I don't know," he said, "but my knees don't hurt at all here."

Another 10 minutes or so down the trail, I asked the second question, which was clearly coming. "Raleigh, we've already walked longer than we planned to. Don't you think it's time we turn around?" "Not just yet. I want to go further." (Deep sigh.) "Ok," I thought, "we can go a bit further."

Five minutes later I stopped mid-trail: "Raleigh, we really should be turning around now. We agreed we wanted to be back at the car by about 3, and we're already creeping up on 2:45 and we have at least 30 minutes back up the hillside. How much farther are we going to go?" This time, I didn't even get a verbal response, only a shoulder shrug. Ooh, that was irritating. And still, Raleigh trucked on. He didn't even look back to see if I was following him. That irritated me too. I took another sigh and continued down the path.

Now, I should probably mention that it didn't take a genius to see that humans aren't the only travelers down into the Canyon via this particular trail--special sightseeing trips on mules occur regularly, as mule droppings (some fresh, some old) and splashdown zones (very fresh) were everywhere. It was smelly and in addition to just being physically exhausted and ready to head back to the car, I was tired of sidestepping the mule poo and jumping over rocks that were moist with something other than water. (BIG SIGH.) "Seriously," I thought. "How much father is he going to go?!"

No sooner had I said that in my head, did Raleigh stop on the trail and say he wanted to find a place to sit down. ("Oh, now you want to sit and rest," I thought. "Go figure!") He scanned the rocks along the trail's edge, however none looked very suitable for resting. We scanned down the path a ways and saw a big rocky overhang, clean and clear and (to my enjoyment) completely off the smelly, mule-worn path. Raleigh nodded towards the direction of the rock, "How long do you think it will take us to get there?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed again. "I don't know. Do you want to go and find out?" A HUGE smile crept across Ral's face. "Yes!" he said.

I sighed again and took a brief moment to remember why we were at the Grand Canyon in the first place--for this exact reason: to enjoy the experience of the Grand Canyon (mule poo and all) with each other. Why should my moodiness prevent Ral from seeing some beautiful sights he's always wanted to see, when his knees are feeling good and the weather is amazing? Maybe he didn't want to see Lake Powell as much as I wanted him to, and if that's the case, I certainly didn't want to push him. I could either continue being a turd or I could quit checking my watch and enjoy the time I had with the man I love. I decided to choose the latter. "Ok," I said with a slight smile, "Let's go."

The rock wasn't as far down the trail as we thought--maybe 50 yards or so--and when we got there, we saw that it was actually a point of interest marked on the map--Coconino Overlook. The view was spectacular! (I know I sound like a broken record, don't I?) The rock (which was actually a couple of ginormous rocks, all sitting together) hung on the edge of the hillside and overlooked beautiful Roaring Springs Canyon. If you were quiet enough, you could hear the springs falling onto rocks below. And if you were quieter still, you could hear the space of the Canyon envelope you from the three open sides, each one a sheer 100+ ft. drop from the rock we were standing on.

I crept to the edge of the rock and sat down, making sure I was steadily planted a good 4+ inches from the edge. I took a deep breath and gazed upon the beauty of the landscape. How peaceful. How beautiful. How perfect.

I started to pray, and thanked God for the sight before my eyes and for the man that was sharing it with me. I thanked Him for the good weather, the safe travels, and for the wonderful experience I'd gotten to have throughout the entire weekend with Raleigh. I then asked God for a favor--"Please help me be ok with this." With 'this' being 'it,' I meant the culmination of an amazing journey. I didn't want to be disappointed there wasn't any more (remember, I previously had a hunch and was hopeful something would happen), and just wanted to leave the Canyon feeling good about all that did--and didn't--happen. "Please help me be ok with this."

No sooner had my heart asked for His grace, did Raleigh sit down and scooch next to me. He then said, "Kim, will you close your eyes?" I did, and Raleigh grabbed both my hands. I still didn't know what he was doing (he had been contemplative the entire weekend so asking me to close my eyes was not incredibly strange and I just thought he was encouraging me to relax and allow myself to experience the peace and beauty of the Canyon. The minute Raleigh started talking, though, I heard his voice start to crack and then I knew! I started crying immediately, and the words of love pouring out of Raleigh's mouth (and clearly, heart) touched me immensly. I heard, "Will you marry me?" and felt a ring slide onto my left hand ring finger.

This is where things get a bit blurry . . . I thought I said "yes," however after a few minutes of crying and hugging and kissing and crying some more, Raleigh pulled back a little bit and said, "So? Your answer is . . . ?" "Oh, yes, yes, YES!" I said with a tearful chuckle. "Yes!" It was a moment both of us will remember forever.

We sat on the rock for who knows how long (WAY longer than we had allotted time for, that's for sure!), and just enjoyed each other's presence and the joy of confessing our love to each other while making an agreement of a lifetime commitment. I apologized for being a turd earlier, and Raleigh giggled in confirmation. He then giggled at how he knew he was annoying me on the way down. "I figured you'd forgive me after this," he said. And yes, he was right.

Like a puzzle who's last piece is set into place, it suddenly all made sense . . .
-Why Raleigh was so insistent we still go to the Grand Canyon, even after the main reason for our trip to AZ this autumn was canceled earlier this summer.
-Why mom, who usually cannot keep a secret to save her life (especially one that she is very excited about) was unusually quiet in the car on the way to the airport, minus the odd comment of, "It's going to be so romantic . . ."
-Why Raleigh was so sure he wanted to make the extra effort to see the much less-crowded North Rim, when we both had already been blown away by the sights of the great South Rim. (The man cannot do anything traditional or common . . .")
-Why the man who hates to hike was all about hiking at the Grand Canyon, and was totally into exploring every non-paved, secluded, STEEP trail that we could.
-Why the backpack always had tons of miscellaneous stuff in it that we wouldn't ever need--who hikes at the Grand Canyon with index cards?!
-Why Ral encouraged me to get the more expensive Christmas ornament, when I would have most definitely settled for the less costly one, all in the name of "special memories".
-Why Ral was so oddly insistent that we write and mail out postcards AFTER our big hike for the day, even though it made more sense to do it beforehand since we were passing the post office drop on the way to the trail.

I suppose it doesn't matter now, however Raleigh and I still chuckle about the above and how he totally surprised me. I mean, as is true to form, I did my research; however I still couldn't come to any conclusive answer! Every time I thought I'd found clues that would give me any sort of an inkling that something great was going to happen, Raleigh did or said (or didn't do or say) something that completely made me doubt that anything was going to happen! Now, I'm not quite sure how he's going to top this vacation . . .

So that's it--our engagement story. :)

Before anyone gets too excited about a wedding date, know that we're probably still several months away. Right now, Ral and I are thinking spring 2010, which gives us plenty of time to save some and get other things in order. When we land on a date, we'll be sure to share with all. Right now though, we're just enjoying the feeling of being recently (and finally!) engaged! Hooray!

I think it's clear--Love is GRAND!

Sixteen Things You May or May Not Know About Me, and Then Some

1. When I was little, I first heard that we can "live our dreams." That phrase somehow morphed into this amazing thought/fear that followed me day in and day out for a good two years or so—what if I'm really a bear in hibernation, and this (my life as a human) is really one big, long dream? When I wake up, will I be happy that I am really a bear and that my life as Kimberly Malsom, the human, was just in my head? Or will I desire to fall back asleep so I can continue living the life of human Kimberly Malsom in my dreams again? (Seriously folks, this one freaked me out for awhile--I didn't want to be a bear!)

2. I have an irrational fear when swimming in a swimming pool, that the drain will somehow suck me towards it until I drown. Thankfully, the fear never kept me from swimming or having fun in the water (I've always been a fish), however to this day I do swim a bit faster when picking up diving rings from the deep end and when swimming directly above the drain. I told you it was an irrational fear.

3. On the same token, when in a lake or other natural body of water (where there are no drains), I am afraid water creatures (yucky ones) are near me and will somehow brush against my skin. It is for this reason that I am great at treading water (I always have my extremities moving so that the creatures know to stay away) and am selective where I choose to go skinnydipping. (Yeah--think about that one, you "I love to be naked anywhere, anyhow" people! Eew!)

4. I have the great ability to remember my dreams the night after—sometimes good, sometimes not so good, yet almost always crazy and weird. I've dreamt on more than one occasion I was in a horrible car accident (and died), my teeth spontaneously fell out, my mother passed away, I was drugged by a photographer to take sexy pictures for my boyfriend, I was on the Titanic (no, it did not sink) and was pregnant and hiding from my husband (who was a politician of sorts, not to mention, my HS calculus teacher was my OBGYN in that one), I had been kidnapped and was unable to scream as the culprits were dragging me away from my home, I was floating on a small square of carpet in the dark sky, desperately clinging to the short fibers as gravity tried to pull me away into the nothingness, blocks of color quickly flash in front of me until a peach color settles in my view and I become unexplainably terrified . . . see? I told you they're all crazy and weird.

5. I think Raleigh is his cutest when he's in the very sleepy, half-awake mode—you know, where his eyes can barely open and he's pretty groggy still . . . I don't know why, however I find him SO adorable when he's like this. On the contrary, I feel like it's in those very moments (when I'm waking up) that I look my worst.

6. I wish I hadn't let my Spanish speaking skills slip—it's true: "If you don't use it, you lose it." And my abilities in this area are far from being what they used to.

7. When I was little, my mom told me my freckles were angel kisses and I loved them. When I got older, I was teased for how many freckles I had, and I hated them. Now, as an adult, I am mature and wise enough to know my mom really was right—and I love my freckles once again. If one day I'm blessed to be the mother of a child with freckles, I'm going to share the truth with him/her as well.

8. I feel like I still have so much to contribute to the world, and so much to say, that perhaps those two facets are connected in some way. Jaime, I'm totally psyched to read the book you've given me, Writing to Change the World. Thank you!

9. I AM a brilliant, loveable, sexy woman, enthusiastically accepting my greatness NOW! And even though I can forget that at times, I can (and do) remember.

10. One of the biggest moments in my life was making eye contact with the little homeless girl in India. In that moment, language, culture, social, and economic barriers that created distance between us vanished instantly—we connected human to human, and recognized the spirit we share regardless of our differences. How I often long for that magic connection with those I know personally, and on a broader scale, amongst all people in the world as well.

11. I'm always surprised by what people will do to make a buck: sell their body, intentionally take advantage of another in business, do crazy life-threatening stunts that no one has completed and lived to tell about it, steal, (and most recently) work at the Colorado Renaissance Festival . . .

12. I know I've accomplished a lot these past 25 years, however as I head into my 26th year of life I realize that there's still far more on my "want to do" list than on my "already been there, done that" list. I look forward to (in no particular order): seeing the Grand Canyon with the love of my life (Sept. 2008), getting married, creating a family, traveling to Italy, defending and keeping my title of Jello Wrestling Champion of T33's Jello Wrestling Extravaganza, mastering the chairlift on the ski slopes (and becoming a better skier, for that matter), publishing some of my written works, ride in a hot air balloon . . . and much, much more. (And why is it when I write this stuff down, the list always seems shorter than I know it is?!)

13. I've come to believe that sometimes, there is just no logical answer. Period. (And as an expert analyst, that's a tough lesson to learn.)

14. Ice cream, cheese (any kind but bleu), and caprese salad are my most fave food items. Watch out when I eat the last one--belches are sure to follow. (Sorry, Raleigh!)

15. Raleigh has turned me into a garlic-lover. I haven't tried it yet, however if someone has a recipe for garlic-flavored ice cream, I'm willing to give it a shot.

16. It was spending time by myself on a California hillside a few years ago where I came to the realization that my ultimate goal in this life is to be a great wife and mother. That, I am sure, is going to be my greatest contribution to this world.

17. I can get frustrated at times that the goal listed above isn't one I can just pick a weekend on the calendar to go out and do. (I know I could, however you know what I mean!) Instead, I get to emotionally dance between great joy and gratitude, and sadness and impatience as I know that I get to experience this goal only as I deepen my relationship with others (namely, Raleigh and myself).

18. Sometimes I know I'm not a very good Catholic. Yet I am still Catholic and my faith is very important to me. I take solace in knowing that despite what others may think or say, God and I are the only ones who really know the depth of our relationship. It is Him that I serve and only He knows the entirety of my heart and soul.

19. Although I definitely fall towards one end of the political spectrum, I have difficulty placing myself in the box of political labels such as "Democrat," "Republican," "Independent," etc. Such labels automatically conjure up so much meaning today, that when such words are used, assumptions are made in the blink of an eye about what that person believes and what he/she supports and does not support . . . it subconciously sets up a platform for mis-representation and equally, mis-interpretation . . . the filter is so strong it's practically impossible to start with a clean foundation on which to experience and truly appreciate that other person and accept their own thoughts and beliefs for exactly what they are.

20. Language is extremely powerful. Choose your words carefully.

21. Thanks to all those years with metal in my mouth, I have very sensitive teeth. It's a bummer when the ice cream is cold (and it always is), however that doesn't stop me from enjoying it. Yummy!

22. When I was in elementary school, I chose to play the saxophone in band only because a girl bully that I knew chose to play saxaphone first. She told me she was upset that I out-performed her on everything else we did (academically, out on the playground, in our afterschool social program, etc.), and I just couldn't let her do one thing that I didn't do, and certainly couldn't let her do it better. I'm embarrassed now, however I can honestly say that is the only decision I ever made (that I can think of) that was purely motivated by revenge. It was a tough lesson learned--I hated playing the saxophone and I really wanted to play the flute instead.

23. Even though I know it's silly, to this day I feel a little bit guilty I didn't enjoy playing the violin. It was my maternal grandfather's absolute passion (he owned over 100 fiddles at the time of his death) and I know he wanted nothing more than one of his grandkids to pick up the talent and play as he did. I was good at it, yet I didn't enjoy it very much and therefore I didn't play long. I know he wasn't ever angry at me for this, however I do wish I could have been the fiddle-playing grandkid was so proud of. I suppose just being one of grandkids he loved and was proud of for other reasons is good enough though too.

24. For every situation, social problem, law, claim, etc., there is usually more to the story that what appears to be so. I am sometimes secretly ashamed how quick I am to judge what I see and know to be all there is.

25. At 26 years old, I am still learning about money. Thank goodness I'm still attracting it too. And giving it. And sharing it. And using it. And investing it . . . And still learning about it. Seriously--there's a lot I'm still figuring out.

26. Like Jamie--I'm a perfectionist that can be pretty obsessive-compulsive at times. But shhhh . . . that one's a secret for me!

Field of Dreams

Last Saturday I accompanied Raleigh and his buddy Mike up to Greeley. The men are building a hot rod and decided that it's time they pick up some more parts for the car, so they can weld the rusty piece of metal in the garage into something that can roll on wheels by later this summer. So . . . to the junkyard we went.

Now, I've never been to a junkyard before, however I must say that the entire place looked exactly as I imagined it in my head: barren land covered with cars and car parts as far as the eyes can see. There were crushed vehicles standing one on top of the other at least 6-8 in height, towers of miscellaneous metal from tractor wheels to water heaters to trailer sides to lawnmower shells to seat springs, chair backs and more. There were wild grasses growing up between rusty metal doors and trunk hatches well settled into the soft ground after years of sitting silently in the rain-soaked field, and muddy trails that meandered in and out of semi-organized sections of engine parts and gear boxes. There were shiny, chrome-colored bumpers stacked on rusty steel stands, pickup beds filled to the brim with dirty hubcaps, old buses chuck full of dusty seats with torn and tattered upholstery, miles of bent door frames and popped headlights, severed brake lines, and rough, hardened rubber tires cracked from years of exposure to the elements. To me, it was all just a bunch of . . . well, junk.

Still, through all the mud and metal, the men saw something much, much more. They were giddy as school boys walking into the yard, Raleigh so excited he was half skipping, half running into the hot rod graveyard, suppressing giggles under his breath. He and Mike both held a twinkle in their eyes I haven't seen before and both displayed bright toothy smiles no matter which direction they turned. They jumped from one rusty pile to another, so excited to see what treasures might be buried in the next that they were barely able to focus their attention for more than a minute or two in any given spot. Even the cold weather that came in couldn't dampen their spirits; the icy wind that numbed my fingers seemed to pass them by without even brushing their cheeks. Their passion for what they saw—and for the potential in what they saw—was undeniable. It definitely was fun watching them enjoy themselves so much.


As I watched the boys dig through corroded trunks and wade through tarnished piles of who knows what with such enthusiasm and excitement, I asked myself what, if anything, can compare in my life? Where/what is my field of dreams? What gets me so excited that I look past all the obstacles without even thinking and focus on my final goal as if all the dirty steps needed to get there were already behind me?

Perhaps getting married might be similar? I don't think I'll need to buy my wedding dress from a bridal store, however at minimum I'm sure I'll visit a few to look at and try on different styles to see what I like. I know the wedding day is only a very small part of the big picture of marriage, but it is the big event that is shared with family and friends, and kicks off the rest of married life. Somehow when I picture myself at that time—surrounded with my closest girlfriends and family, excitingly looking through racks of white and ivory gowns ("Ooh, look at this one!" "Kim, try this one on!" "Oh my, that one is gorgeous; Kim you are absolutely glowing in that one . . .")—I see myself looking in the mirror only to flash forward to the day that I'll be walking down the aisle towards the man of my dreams who is waiting at the front, with the sweetest smile on his face, and tears in his eyes . . . Yeah; the idea of getting married definitely excites me beyond words.

Another big goal I have is to one day, become a mother. I know there will be many moments of being uncomfortable, many of them downright painful, but I have no doubt that holding my child in my arms will make all of the work before then very much worth it. I imagine the nursery in the hospital, all filled with itty bitty, brand new babies wrapped tightly in blue and pink and yellow blankets. I scan them all but rest my eyes on one very special one—mine. Much like the flash forward I experience when thinking about getting married, I can see myself holding my sweet child, cradling him/her in my arms, as my husband kisses the baby on the forehead and me on the lips, and then stands behind me to hold us both tightly as we admire the little life that's changed ours forever. Yes, the thought of creating a child with the man I love and bringing that child into this world also makes me smile and feel happier than I can describe.

I suppose whether it's a hospital with crying newborn babies, a store filled with dresses, or a junkyard full of rusty metal parts, to someone, it is a field of dreams. Now, to make those dreams reality . . . I'm sure that's an even sweeter feeling.

Whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?!

On Saturday our dear friend Paula became another year older. In celebration of this wondrous event, we (Raleigh and I) decided to give Paula an evening unlike any other she's ever had. And not to toot my own horn (*honk, honk!*), but I think we did pretty darn good! Here's why: we took Paula to a place she'd never been before--the Mercury Cafe downtown--and got her on the floor to dance a type of dance--swing dancing--she's never danced before. She stayed alcohol-free all evening, and had no set partner at the beginning of the evening, yet ended the night looking like a pro! Man, was I impressed! She picked up many dance moves within the first couple dances, and ended up gliding across the floor with at least 4 different men throughout the night! I'm not certain, but she may have walked away with a phone number or two before we left as well! Way to go, Paula!

And on the same token (of doing something different), Raleigh and I each learned new "tricks" too; Raleigh learned to lead with two fingers on each hand (as opposed to all of them), and I learned to loosen up a bit more in the arms so that leading me wouldn't require so much effort. (Ok, so I'm still a work in progress, however I am making positive improvements!)

So, us three "old dogs" did pretty well last night. And regardless of the lesson(s), we all had tons of fun!! I am so proud of us.

Woof, woof!

Just to settle the rumors . . . yes, I did

*eat a half gallon of ice cream in one sitting. Within 10 minutes. After my triathlon nonetheless. And yes, it was cookies & cream.

*travel across India with 3 great girl friends. Unaccompanied by mandated University personnel and without parental knowledge. We stayed in a resort on a CLEAN beach, with plenty of sunshine, white sand, and drinks to spare. Oh, and no creepy Indian men to fight off. :)

*write a novel that was accepted by a publisher. I just never gave official permission to print the book . . .

*get up on the air chair on my first try. I went for a good half-mile on that first run!

*buy my condo at 22 years old. 'Nuff said.

*jello wrestle my way to be Jello Wrestling Champion of the World (slight exaggeration) 2006. Any one want to challenge me for the title next year?

*graduate Valedictorian of my high school class of 531 and Summa Cum Laude of my college class of 423. If it wasn't obvious, I am a nerd.

*drop chewed bubblegum in my uncle's armpit at the tender age of 4, causing him to use ice, peanut butter, nail polish remover, scissors, and eventually gasoline (yes, ouch!) to get it out. Sorry, Uncle Ed! ;)

*start speaking Spanish at 5 years old.

*overcome my fear of spiders and as a result, held a tarantula . . . twice.

*eat yellow snow. On multiple occasions. Don't worry, it was snow ice cream made with sugar, vanilla, eggs, and what else? . . . Snow! (You knew it had to be some form of wacky ice cream, right?!)

*purposely step on my brother's back mere weeks after he was born. I'm not cruel, I promise--I just had to get used to the little guy. :) No worries, he forgives me and no physical damage was done. Well, at least I think so . . .

*take photographs when no one was looking. (Don't you wish you knew?!)

*sing solos in three different songs in an elementary school presentation.

*hot tub with strangers . . . without a suit. You know if you were there . . .

*walk Tianenmann Square, the Forbidden City, and the Great Wall of China. It was fascinating!

*break my elbow by falling off a bike. And what was more of a bummer, was that I was on vacation too! Did I mention the bike wasn't moving?

*babysit for the kids who live across the street from Colorado Rockies First Baseman Todd Helton. His house is as huge and as beautiful as you might expect it to be . . .

*learn to snow ski for the first time this year. An embarrassing fact for a Colorado native, I know, yet I got 'er dun! ;)

*faint in church in front of close to 1000 people. I was kneeling at the altar when it happened, so you can't convince me that nobody noticed.

*hula hoop my way to first place at a talent show in third grade. I 'hooped' to Amy Grant's "Baby, Baby." Oh yeah, the sweet sound of the early 90s . . .

*hula dance on stage and belly dance in private. What a workout!

I think that's enough of a disclosure for now, don't you think?