2nd Honeymoon

Whoever said the honeymoon has to end, or that you can only have one?  Not us!

On April 10th we'll be celebrating our first wedding anniversary; yes, it's been a hear already!

With Raleigh's new job and upcoming schedule change, and the uncertainty of when we might be traveling back to South Dakota to say goodbye to Grandma Ruth, we decided to sneak away while we could, and left town for a weekend celebration on Friday, March 25th.

Our destination was Palisade, Colorado--the heart of Colorado wine country--and it was FABULOUS!  We enjoyed afternoon wine tastings, a quiet patio suite smack dab in the middle of a vineyard (really, our front door opened to rows of carefully hung vines), and the ever inspiring beauty of the Western Slope.  It was romantic, peaceful, and provided us both with an invigorating breath of fresh mountain air and a relaxing atmosphere.

On Saturday we decided to kick the adventure notch up a bit, and head 2 hours into Utah to visit Arches National Park, a place where Raleigh has wanted to go since he was a kid.  We had a blast!  We did a fair amount of hiking, but got far more than a sweaty brow and sand in our shoes; the memories we created will last a lifetime.  Here are a few of our favorite photos of the day!

And now, onto another amazing year!

More Time

Last week Mom and I traveled to the big town of Ipswich, South Dakota to spend some time with my Grandma Ruth.  As many already know, late last year my grandma was diagnosed with having a grade 4 glioma brain tumor, and after a biopsy in December and further testing at the Mayo Clinic in January, it was determined that the tumor is one that will more than likely grow fairly fast and that we probably only have anywhere a few weeks to a few months to enjoy Grandma's presence with us here on Earth.

I know her home is not here, however I am still not quite ready to let her go.  As I say this, I also readily acknowledge that I have no ability to control the timing of things for her, or anyone else that I love for that matter.  And I know it seems silly to say this, but I just wish we had more time.

I want to hear all her stories--how she first met grandpa and what their courtship was like, what she thought and felt as she made a conversion of faith, how was it to get indoor plumbing/television/computers/etc. for the first time, how in the world did she manage to birth and raise 14 children (for one of which she was taken to the hospital by home-crafted snowmobile as a blizzard had moved in at the most inopportune time), what it was like teaching in a single-room country schoolhouse . . . I want to hear what is on her heart--what were/are her biggest fears/hopes/dreams, what does she consider her biggest success, what (if anything) does she regret or wish she could do again, how does one continue on after the loss of a loved one (in particular, a spouse), or even, when facing their own death . . .  I want to learn and perfect her most famous recipes.  I want her to meet my children, to hold them, hug them, and love them as she was able to hold, hug, and love me . . .

All that being said, I know we don't have any more time than we do.  And I don't even know what that is.  So I'm just going to soak up every little bit that I can, and keep the happy memories I have of her close to my heart always, with these past 5 days among some of my most favorite.

I love you, Grandma . . .

Contemplations Re: the Deep Freeze

As these subzero temperatures grip our beautiful state and freeze our neighborhoods and cities with bone-chilling cold air and icy snow, I find myself thinking . . .

*Where have I hardened my heart?
*Where have I become cold and unmoving, frozen in my own self-serving ways?
*Where do I insist on doing things my way, regardless of the consequences?
*Where have I pulled inward, focused on the matters close to my heart, and in doing so made myself numb to and neglected those who need my attention and love?
*In which areas of my life do I need to again breath warm life, or rather, allow God to do that for me?

And most importantly, will I let Him?

Abundance Reigns

In December 2009, after a series in our church regarding stewardship, and much prayer and discussion, Raleigh and I made the commitment to God and each other that we would give the first fruits of our labor back to the Almighty One. In order to make the gift a true sacrifice and a significant representation of the abundance He regularly blesses us with, we chose to follow scripture and give a true ten percent--a tithe.

Now admittedly, although our inspiration for this action was indeed a calling of the heart, I for one, was curious to know if Scripture holds true, and if we would actually receive more than we gave away. It's an interesting thought--no where else in the Bible does God suggest you test him (see Malachi 3:10)--and I was curious to know if the great return I'd heard of was going to come in the form of warm fuzzies and good feelings, or if it just might be a little more tangible. (I wouldn't say I was expecting to win the lottery or come into a windfall, but I felt our chances might be a little better if we were generous givers to begin with.)

We knew it wouldn't be easy, and both agreed we would stick to our commitment regardless of how difficult it might get. (Seriously, we both acknowledged that we were shaking in our boots about the decision--there really wasn't any wiggle room in our tight budget before, so how would we find ways to cover all our expenses if our income was so significantly decreased each month?) In honor of the One who granted us the talents and abilities we have to earn our living (and quite honestly, to support us in our goal and ensure we don't spend the money elsewhere first), we decided then to take our tithing out in cash the same day we get paid, and offer it to the Lord the very next Sunday.

I am very excited to say that Raleigh and I have honored our commitment, and have been tithing since we agreed we would. And although there are many MANY weeks where the extra money in our pocket would be helpful (this week is definitely one of them), we have noticed SO much more abundance of wealth in our world. And as time goes on, although the giving doesn't hit our bottom line with any less impact, it does get easier to know that we will be taken care of regardless of what that bottom line is.

Here are some of the benefits we've experienced since tithing . . .
Unexpected opportunities (new jobs, cars, experiences, etc.), new friends, more time together and with family and friends, surprise bonuses/credits to debt accounts, still having money left at the end of the month to do we want to do (not sure how this works out since we aren't making much more or are paying much less in expenses than the year before, but we're still coming out on top!), random acts of kindness from friends and strangers alike, increased reciprocal love and support (and some not so reciprocal, but rather are just pure GIFTS), and on and on and on . . . there are so many times Raleigh and I have looked at each other after receiving another surprise "return" and said, "This tithing thing is pretty cool! God is great!"

We've also been able to practice and increase our:
TRUST--That the Lord will provide. Always.
FAITH--True belief that the abundance will remain, even after we decrease our share. No need for scarcity thinking/acting; there is more than enough for all of us.
COMMITMENT--Even in tough times (when the alternative would be much easier), we can hold true to our word and make a difference.
JOY--His blessings really are magnified and our hearts are open to receiving more of His goodness.

So, there you have it; we we are believers! In many ways it is in giving that we receive the most . . .

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
~2 Corinthians 9:6-8

In a Flash

So yesterday a wildfire erupted in Fourmile Canyon in western Boulder County, less than 20 miles from our home in northwestern Westminster. Within a few short hours a ginormous wall of dark smoke loomed from the north and stretched as far as the eye could see, from the Boulder flatirons clear to the east. It ominously hung in the sky all afternoon as the blaze continued to burn out of control. As soon as the wind died down enough in the evening, air tankers took off from the Rocky Mountain Metropolitan Airport just behind our home to help combat the fire.

It's just amazing to me how perspective can change everything. Yesterday was absolutely GORGEOUS: we saw blue skies, bright sunshine, and comfortable temperatures with a cool breeze; yet for the folks in Fourmile Canyon, it was a nightmare--the perfect conditions to allow a single flame to quickly grow into an out-of-control, super-intense wildfire. While I was out running and enjoying everything around me (including an incredibly beautiful, orange sunset behind the mountains), there were people less than 20 miles from me scrambling to gather what they could and make it down the mountain alive. They say that the roar of the fire moving its way through the trees sounded eerily like a jet engine, and that some folks had to "drive through a wall of fire" to get out of their driveways. Some only had a few moments to spare to grab themselves and their pets in order to escape the blaze; while others had a few minutes more to throw a few precious items into their vehicles before fleeing. I can only imagine the panic those people must have felt, and how it must have torn their hearts as they looked back on their homes one last time to know they most likely would never see them again. Incredible.

This gets me thinking . . . what would I take if I only had a few moments to spare? What "things" are most important to me, and which ones (if any) would I give the most priority to save?

Our passports and social security cards? Nice to have, yes, but totally replaceable.
Our marriage license? Filed at the county; replaceable.
Jewelry? I don't own much, but I would probably try to grab what heirloom pieces I could, including gifts passed down from family members including my engagement ring (from Raleigh's grandmother), the rings given to me by my grandmother (given to her by my grandfather), my dad's class ring and my mom's class key, etc. (And if Raleigh's wedding ring wasn't on his finger, I'd grab that too.)
Some of our favorite photos from the wall? Nice to have, but in a hurry, would grabbing large, framed prints really be feasible? And all in all, replaceable.
Some of my photo albums and loose photos, of the non-replaceable variety? Nice to have, but again, not really sure it'd be feasible to grab them. They are heavy and awkward to carry. And in the end, I'm not really sure they'd be the most important thing(s) I'd want to take with me.

Truth of the matter is, I could live without ANY of these things as they are just that--things. Nice to have, yes, and definitely sentimental in meaning. But are they live-giving or life-sustaining? No. If I had to go on without them, I could.

Yet even as I acknowledge this here and know this to be true, why do I continue to place such value on all my "stuff", on the items which I wholeheartedly know my happiness does not depend? In some ways, it almost seems silly--thinking of what things I'd want to take with me if I could . . . does any of it really matter? I think in the end, it does not.

As long as I have Raleigh by my side and God walking with us both along the way, I know I can endure any journey . . . even one as horrific as that the folks in Boulder started experiencing yesterday.

My heart and prayers are with our dear neighbors today, who no matter the status of their physical home, must continue on today in a way very different from before.

It's been 10 years . . . already?!

So apparently it took me 10 years after high school, to perfect how to act like a high schooler. And from what I can tell, I wasn't missing much. Being the squeaky clean Miss Goody Two Shoes did have its low moments, however at least I stayed out of trouble--for the most part.

I mean, there was that time on Senior Ditch Day I did leave class; however it was after asking for permission from Mr. McDermott first and promising to be back before class was over. Megan, Jeanette, and I rode off in Megan's mom's convertible and we drove down Colorado Boulevard with Ricky Martin's "Livin' la Vida Loca" blaring from the stereo, our hands in the air as if we were in the front car of a rollercoaster and wind blowing through our hair with reckless abandon as if we were Thelma and Louise (and Kim), the trio version. We were real rebels.

And then there was that other time, much earlier in my high school career where Tiffany, Laura, Paula, and I all would write and pass notes to each other through the dividing wall between Mrs. Watson's English and Mr. Gielas' Geography classes in the "fishbowl" room. We did get caught at least once, I recall, although I don't remember much more than a stern look and verbal scolding. (Our teachers knew it didn't require much more for us good kids to feel guilty and return to obedient compliance.)

I think that might have been it for my mischevious moments . . . (Yes, I know--only two!  I really was Miss Goody Two Shoes!)  Raleigh, on the other hand, has great stories of blowing up part of our science lab (as he concocted an explosive "apple pie"), gluing together the desk drawers of the band teacher, and publically urinating before the Parade of Lights in his marching band uniform . . . with the lights still on.  Certainly not the saintly one . . .

As for other high school memories, I have many. Here are a few:

• Sitting in the library during off-class hours with Tiffany, making comic strips which starred ourselves as incredibly realistic-looking stick figures. (Tiffany always had poms in her hands, that's how you could tell our figures apart.)
• Feeling oh so special when the hot blonde senior in my photography class wrote in my freshman yearbook--"Hi sexy" and "Never change"--wasn't it obvious he had a crush on me he just couldn't hide any longer?!
• NOVA videos in Mr. Kimmel's class.
• Making all 3 outs in a single inning in my first high school softball game (sophomore year), including one double-play.
• WAFL my junior year and Great Books, Great Ideas my senior year.
• Classes in the trailers.
• Auditioning for a part in the school musical, "The King and I" my junior year. (To this day I maintain that I was so terrible that I helped my audition partner Nicole get in.)
• Selling lip-shaped lollipops during February in order to raise money for our Spanish Honor Society.
• Similarly, creating--and participating--in all day Spanish immersion to bring awareness of our club to the school. Teachers and fellow students alike quickly became annoyed when I'd raise my hand to speak and would do so in Spanish before giving the rest of the class the English translation.
• Sitting in the auditorium, seeing my name flash on the screen as one of the nominees for a senior favorite ("Most Scholarly") and hearing a girl a few rows in front of me lean over to her friend and say--"Yeah, vote for Kim--she's REALLY smart!". I didn't realize that out of a class of 500+ I was recognizable to the those outside of my circle of friends--I was a "somebody!" Finally!
• Auditioning to be one of the 3 class speakers at our graduation ceremony. (No, I wasn't chosen as one of the speakers, but DID get to turn the tassels and receive my diploma first!)

So Megan and I dragged our men to our ten year reunion (Raleigh would rather leave high school where he left it back in 2000) and had a blast being with each other, reminiscing of where we were back then, and delighting in where we've come since.

Yup, it's been ten years. In some ways it feels like forever and in other ways, just a few moments ago. Oh how much I've grown. Thank goodness.

Marriage is like a car . . .

Marriage is like a car. Well, sort of. (Don't judge yet--hear me out.)

A car is something that usually (at least at the beginning, when it is brand new), is sparkly and clean and so pristine you can almost see your reflection in it. It has perfect body lines with no flaws, paint that shines well in the sun, is rust-free and doesn't have a single scratch or chip to be seen.

Still (here's where the analogy comes in), to keep something like a car looking new (and more importantly, feeling new), you have to take care of it. You have to keep it clean and polish it up every now and then. If you let it go for a long time, it will take more work to get the illustrious shine you saw the first time you experienced it. If you wash it every now and then however, periodically give it a good scrub, break out the wax from time to time, it's likely that you won't have to put as much elbow grease in to get the sparkle of the new car back.

I guess what I'm saying is maintenance is key. And it's my opinion that for marriage, that fact holds true as well.

Now that being said, our marriage is far from complete disrepair (or in need of any repair, even). Heck, we've only been married for 2 months! It's certainly new enough, we have very few scratches on the paint and no major dents in the fender. Still, Raleigh and I both know that to keep our relationship in this lovely state of joy and spirited challenge and intense passion and (seriously) overall happiness that we are experiencing now, it's going to take some work. We can't neglect each other or our marriage and expect everything to stay the same; we have to be prepared to complete regular "maintenance" on it, and spend time with the polish every now and then. (We've learned that relationships take work outside of marriage, too, so this isn't anything new to either of us.)

So, in our quest to make our strong, albeit young, marriage even stronger, and to support ourselves in getting our marriage off to a great start, further building the firm foundation upon which our family will grow, Raleigh and I decided that we would like to attend a Worldwide Marriage Encounter (WME) weekend sometime this fall. We talked about it before getting married even, and were excited to learn that one of the weekends later this year is going to be held up at St. Malo, where we exchanged our vows.

We figured even if there wasn't a lot of material that applied to us (for being such newlyweds), that it would be good to spend a weekend together simply being with each other, engaging each other, up in the beautiful Colorado mountains where we wed. We currently are not experiencing any issues that is our driving force to attend a weekend, just a desire to set ourselves up for the best possible marriage, by learning new (or practicing old) communication techniques, opening dialogue that perhaps we haven't thought to have just yet (or that now will take on new meaning), and staying involved with others of our faith committed to the same ideals. And as lame as that might sound to some, we were both really excited about this!

When we shared our plans with my parents (who were once heavily involved in WME, as one of the lead couples during the weekends when my brother and I were much younger), we were told that the weekend may not really helpful to us at all, since it's gauged for couples that have been married for a few years, "with kids in tow". This surprised me as it's not quite what I remembered. So, I wrote the representative couple for the WME organization in our area and asked for their feedback. They wrote back a rather vague response, basically telling us that although we'd probably get something out of the class, that it'd probably mean more to us if we did it after we've been married a few years and have experienced "difficulties, disillusionment and healing" and would therefore be able to "relate to the concepts of the weekend more fully."

Upon reading the answer, both of us had the same response . . . Who's to say that during our courtship (4 years' worth at the time of our marriage in April) we didn't already experience many of those things? Lord knows we've been through a lot. In some ways, I believe we may have already experienced more than most couples do during their first year (or more!) of marriage together.

I think what was more disappointing than anything in the response was the judgment placed on our relationship, based on how long we've been married. That somehow, because we've been only been married for two months, that our relationship is more superficial, that it doesn't hold enough depth with which to work, and that because of this, we wouldn't benefit by such an opportunity of exploration and growth.

Who's to judge the quality our marriage based on the quantity of months we've shared the same last name?!

Earlier this month we had talked to Fr. Matt about this who encouraged us to go, even if just to spend time with each other focused on each other, away from the routine we're slowly settling into. And after further discussion, I think Raleigh and I agree. Although maybe WME isn't the right venue for this at this moment in time and it's quite possible we will look elsewhere for our opportunity for marital and spiritual growth during our first year. There are tons of options out there, I know.

One thing's for sure, though--we intend to keep the sparkle in our marriage for a long time to come. And both of us are committed to do whatever is needed to keep the shine.