Dreams...

I have dreams just about every night now, likely due to the horomones racing through my system and the fact that I no longer get solid sleep--I wake anywhere from 3-10 times per night to pee, to rearrange the pillow between my legs, to roll over, etc.

For the first time however, I had a dream about our little one--a specific dream that showed me her face.  Yes, it was a girl.  :)

In my dream she was recently born, though the birthing process was already behind me.  Still, in those first few moments of seeing her face, both Raleigh and I were captivated.

Her face was round and slightly pudgy (I think lightly swollen from the birthing process), and pinkish-red in color.  She had bright blue eyes that she didn't hesitate to open to stare at us--calmly and intently, as if she was as mesmerized by us as we were of her.  She blinked once or twice, then kept staring.

She had hair (yes, she had hair!) which was dirty blonde in color.  It was about one inch long, and the air on her crown around her forehead stuck straight up--as if to imitate her daddy's spiky do.  (In my dream Raleigh and I giggled at that!)

In short, she was beautiful!

My dream ended as quickly as it began, and after a quick roll to the other side (and disappointing realization my previous vision was only a dream), I soon fell asleep and started another, new and different dream.  This time, we had twin boys (go figure!), which Grandma and Grandpa Malsom somehow managed to lose at Costco.  (I know, totally weird!)  Their names were Carson Quinn and Alexander Matthew.  (I woke up before we found them, in case you're wondering.)

The second dream wasn't as memorable as the first as I know we're not having twins this round.  Still, I wonder if in my first dream I did see the face of our little one.  I guess only time will tell, right?  Five months and some to go!

Could It Be . . . Baby???

On Friday (September 2nd), I think I might have felt baby move for the first time!  I was lying in bed, still waking up and yet aware of my surroundings, when out of the blue I felt my muscles in my lower right (front) abdomen area tighten . . . but only in an area about the size of a quarter or 50-cent piece, and almost in a "pushing-out" from the inside sense.  It was so strange; I have never before felt anything like it!  I laid there for awhile longer (hand gently resting on my belly) just to see if I felt anything further, but nothing.

All the books I've read say that I will begin feeling baby move any time now, but that first time moms don't often feel the movement as early as other simply because they don't know what they're feeling for.  I still tend to think I did feel baby, because I've never had that experience before and feel like the muscle "twitch" was too low and isolated to be gas or another explainable movement.  I suppose we'll find out soon as the baby moves more and more as they grow.

I do wish Raleigh got to feel the baby as soon as I do, only because this is so special to both of us I feel a little guilty experiencing this wondrous part without him.  I know that will change and at some point he'll get to feel the baby move too, but I do wish he could do more than listen to my stories of how it feels to have something alive and growing inside.  (Sounds like the plot to a scary movie more than reality!)  The words don't come easily all the time, as what I feel is sometimes tough to describe.

This afternoon I felt like what I can describe as little bubbles popping inside my belly . . . could that have been baby too?  Only time will tell, I suppose, and I look forward to confirming with the doctor next week that all is well and our little one is growing just as he/she should.

The Most Beautiful Sound

Well our 13 week doctor's appointment was on Wednesday (August 10th) and overall, was very "chill" as the doctor put it.  No gown on the exam room table, which meant I got to keep my clothes on; hooray!  I would have gladly dropped trousers for another internal ultrasound if that meant we got another picture of our little one, but the doctor said she'd only do that if she couldn't find a heartbeat which, thankfully, didn't happen.  So . . . we got to hear the heartbeat too!

At first the sound of the doppler machine rolling over my belly just sounded scratchy--like a bad radio frequency--but when she found the right spot and held the monitor still, there it was--clear and beautiful.  It was a very even, fast, and consistently-paced "swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh . . ."  About 150 beats per minute she said, more than twice my heart rate.  Wow--so cool!  I only wish we got to hear it longer than the 10-15 seconds we did, as either she or baby (or both) moved and after that, it couldn't be found again and our appointment time was up.

We have one more "chill" appointment in 4 weeks and then a couple weeks after that, our 20 week ultrasound!  That's the one where baby should be pretty big and completely developed, and if we want to find out the sex, we can.  (I'm still thinking we won't, though . . .)  I am so excited!  And so excited to feel baby get larger too.  My belly is definitely protruding and less and less of my regular clothes are fitting.  So here's to a healthy growing baby!

We're Getting Bigger!

This past weekend I went shopping with mom and my cousin Dawn, and picked up my first sets of maternity clothing.  It is so strange to be trying on--and purchasing--pants with expandable belly panels and shirts that appear way to big on the hanger.  I know I'll grow into them (my regular pants won't even button anymore), yet it is still so strange!

Our 2nd doctor's appointment is this Wednesday . . . here's to a healthy and growing baby!

An Inch of Miracle

Oh my gosh--Monday (July 11th) was the coolest EVER!  We had our first doctor's appointment and got to "see" baby for the first time!  We saw his/her whole body from head to rump (a mere 2.19 cm long--just shy of an inch!) and could make out a very strong, beating heart, little legs and arms that would twitch every now and then, and the cutest face (eyes, nose, lips, etc.) I have ever seen.  Baby measured 8 weeks, 6 days, which puts us at an estimated delivery date of 2-14-2012.  What a gift of love indeed!

Our Little One--First Photo!

It was just so amazing to see--really see--what the little life inside looks like.  The doctor said our little one will double its size every week for awhile, which means we'll have a 2" long baby next week this time; crazy!
I have generally felt so well thus far I was beginning to wonder if this pregnancy could possibly be in my head, but no--he/she is really there!

Raleigh's eyes teared up at the image on the screen and his verbal reassurances to both baby and I are so sweet and comforting.  he is going to be an excellent father, and in many ways, already is.  I am SO blessed to have him, and am so thankful we get to share this experience together.

Now that the first appointment is behind us (and all appears to be well!), we'll start to share the news with our friends and family.  It's good we'll get to spill the beans now, as it's been tough keeping something so exciting a secret for so long!

You know you're pregnant when . . .

Walking from the bed (upstairs) to the kitchen (downstairs) at 8p in the evening is so exhausting, you take a break to sit on the stairs in between and fall asleep again . . .

Hats

Today I came across this picture and it hit me--dear Kate looks good in nearly everything, and is especially fashionable in her choice of headwear.  This hat (which would look ridiculous on me) looks fantastic.  Even Mr. William looks quite dapper in his top hat!  I mean, how cute are they?!

In thinking about it, I've come to the conclusion that some people are just hat people.  They are able to wear all kinds of hats and look great.  Clearly, the English have it down.  Some are braver than others (see photos from the royal wedding for verification) however they do as an overall group look pretty good with something on their heads.

Me, on the other hand . . . well, I don't do well with much beyond an occasional stocking cap in the winter and/or a baseball cap on a lazy day I don't want to do my hair (of course even then, my ears stick out like a human version of Dumbo).  I've tried hats on before, and although they look good on the rack at the store, the minute it hits my head it transforms into a hideous piece of something-that-doesn't-belong-there.  Truly, I end up looking like a new character from the Muppets or a dressed thing-a-majig from a Dr. Suess book.  And even in the rare cases it doesn't look that bad, it still doesn't look good enough to justify the purchase.

Oh, how I'd love to be a hat person.  I'd totally like to have a great collection of hats versus shoes or jewelry or anything else, just because there are so many amazing, unique hats out there.  Check this out:

Beach Hat

Fedora

Knitted Beret

Bucket/Fishing Hat

Trapper Hat

Newsboy Hat

Maybe one day I'll find a hat (or two) that reflects my personality well AND looks good on my head.  In the meantime, however, I am not-so-secretly envious of folks who have already found their "hat knack".  :)