Incessant chatter from my grey matter

Raleigh
ACT/SAT tests--flashback to high school
Paula, Tiffany, Jeanette, Megan . . . all my girls from way back when
Nick, Brian, Ryan, Raleigh . . . boys, boys, boys--many still are
Raleigh's mullet
Megan's baby
baby shower
pink, blue, yellow, green
gift . . . does this mean I have to go shopping?! Argh!
ice cream
ice cream maker . . . a wonderful b-day gift I've yet to use (Odd yet true!)
next family birthday
Mom
birthday cake versus pumpkin pie
Thanksgiving dinner
Raleigh
rain to snow
mountains
learning to ski for the first time
hot cocoa
fire in the fireplace
hot tub
hot, bubbling water
Mom and her latest frustrations
laundry . . . Lord knows I have enough
swing dancing . . . so much fun!
new shoes
pretty red dress
Dawn's wedding
gift . . . argh--more shopping!!
headache
family drama
Bryan and his girl
mint cookie catastrophe . . . only a select few know about this one
Raleigh
carpet cleaning
carpet stretching . . . still on the to-do list
bills
Dad and his job situation
presenting matches
important photographs . . . how one little picture can mean so much!
printing photos
painting & decorating guest room
green curtains
Raleigh
ice cream
shower
manicure/pedicure appointment tomorrow
Connie and her healing leg
phone call
Isabel and unreturned email
plethora of envelopes . . . I only use a few now since everything is online
pending mail orders
trash carry-out
chilly air . . . wish I could stay barefoot, oh well . . .
late night, long to-do list
warm waterbed
sleep
set alarm clock
darker mornings, earlier evenings = shorter days
summer is over . . . (sniff, sniff!)
winter clothes
changing seasons
autumn colors
changing leaves
changing lives
change
new and different
Raleigh
love . . . I was ready yet he still caught me by surprise!
kiss
kiss
kiss
blushing
"Kimisms" . . . at least I'll always be known for something! : )
ice cream
ice cream . . . mint chocolate chip in freezer
ice cream
ice cream . . . I really want some yet should hold off if I can . . .
alternative options to distract myself
reading! . . . I have several great books I'm working on
novel I wrote
call publisher . . . still scared to do so, not sure why
Raleigh . . . always encouraging me to stretch and grow
self reflection . . . what can I do? How do I contribute?
friends
family
work
early morning . . . I want to get in extra-early tomorrow
early night
bedtime
Raleigh . . .

Lipstick Pods, Chinese Lanterns, and a HUGE smile

When I awoke this morning not feeling too well, I figured the day would more than likely be a bust. Yesterday was worse and yet I made it through the day, therefore no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find an excuse to not make it through this one. So rather begrudgingly I dragged myself out of bed, managed to brush my teeth, slap clothes on, run a brush through my mangled hair, and head to work.

No lie, the first few hours were painful. I had a splitting headache, my tummy still didn't feel good, and the chaos in the office seemed unusually high for the start of the day. My prediction of a craptastic day seemed to be right on the nose.

About halfway through the morning, as my eyes were starting to blur from document review and email overload, our "office mom" Theresa walked back into our room with a rather cumbersome load; she had handful of dossiers in one arm and a rather large vase of flowers in the other. These flowers were so exquisite and unique (and a rather significant display in terms of size) that I figured it was an arrangement she purchased for office decor. Without much enthusiasm, I continued to work as Theresa began to disperse the items. She neatly stacked the dossiers on the top of the filing cabinet, placed mail in the mail bin, and then gingerly set the vase down on the corner of my desk. "Well?" she asked, "Who are they from?"

What?! The flowers were for me?! All of a sudden I had gained the attention of everyone in the room (my 4 other Dossier Divas, Theresa, and a Case Aide) and was quickly surrounded as I carefully opened the attached card. *sigh and a HUGE smile* It was an "I'm thinking of you" note along with a get well wish from no other than one of the most incredible men around . . . Raleigh. : )

And that's all it took. The day suddenly became brighter, my head and tummy immediately ceased to bother me (at least I didn't notice them), and the rest of the day quickly had potential of being rather wonderful. The girls oohed and ahhed and began the chatter of how great it is that I now have a man in my life that knows what I'm worth and treats me accordingly, and I just sat there at my desk--eyes fixed on the magnificent display of love and support and a rather obnoxiously large grin permanently stretched across my face.

The lipstick pods, chinese lanterns, umbrella fern, cattails, bluegrass stems, and willow branches create a rather exceptional and extraordinary display that catches the eye (and my heart) and triggers a very large smile every time I walk by--as does the man they are from. Thanks, Raleigh. : )

Perfect Timing

Ok, so just when I hit a low spot and started seriously doubting some things, I went to a soccer game. Not sure what to expect beyond a welcome distraction from the day's events, I torpidly climbed the stands to take a seat and was determined to immerse myself in the game. My goal (no pun intended) was to have fun with those I love and forget all the thoughts and the heavy emotions that had been weighing on my heart for most of the week.


I scooted through the row, carefully excusing myself as I passed those already seated, and found two short, meaty legs in the chair the ticket I was holding indicated was mine. Sitting in my seat was the most adorable little chub of a girl--big, rosy cheeks, small brown eyes, and a thin mess of dark hair gathered into a tight ponytail that stuck straight up and feathered out like a fountain from her round head. I was fairly certain she was adopted (mom and dad were obviously not of the same race), and was curious to learn her story. (Call it a default reaction from a passionate worker in the adoption field if you want, however I was curious nonetheless.) I said hello and started some friendly chatter, and after only a few minutes, recognized that the family I was sitting next to was one of my clients almost 2 years ago! I had helped bring this little girl home!


All of a sudden details about the family and their particular case came flooding back to me, and it was clear the family remembered me as well. We briefly reminisced about the paperchase and my work with the family during that time, and then had the chance to discuss Gotcha Day and all the wonderous moments the family has had as a family since the day their little girl was placed in their arms. It was wonderful.


Within a few short moments (and after a gentle nudge, handsome smile, and whisper from the sweet soul sitting on the other side of me), I was reminded just why it is I do what I do. The chubby little ball of energy who was all smiles in her mommy's arms, round belly bulging from underneath her too-small bright green tank (stretched to the max as she played hide-and-seek with her belly button) was (at least in part) a product of my work and dedication--and with a family who clearly loves her to pieces. Sure, all the anxiety from the week hadn't disappeared completely, however it did significantly melt in size and intensity for the moment . . . and if even only for a moment, made my heart light again.


As usual, the timing was perfect. Although my job isn't pretty all of the time (it's a far more arduous line of work than one might think), there is a great outcome to the stressful chaos I wade through each day. And on Wednesday, it was clear . . . in rolls of flesh stuffed into flower pants and ruffled socks, pink fingernails and all. And moreso in the smiles from a mother to a daughter and back the other way.

Once sticky in jello . . . now it's time to get down and DIRTY!!

Ok, so jello wrestling was a complete success and I had a blast! That is some slippery stuff!! Words to the wise: if ever given the opportunity to get jello near your eyes . . . DON'T!! It burns!! And although not bad, once a few bodies have rolled around in the goo, the slimy concoction doesn't taste the way it should. I think I'm going to steer clear of anything watermelon flavored for quite some time. :) All in all, though, the event was just as I'd planned it to be . . . HUGE!! And as predicted, I emerged as Jello Wrestling Champion. Question is are there going to be any contenders for my title in 2007?


And now that the super-slippery, extra-gooey, over-the-top slimefest is over for the year . . . I'm ready for more! Instead of jello this time, though, I'm going to be rolling around in mud! Muddy Buddy 2006, here I come!!

Here's the deal, the Muddy Buddy is a cycling/running duathlon where competitors race in teams. The course is cut into mile-long segments, which one person runs while the other bikes. The end of each segment is marked with an obstacle. The competitors go through the obstacle and then switch places--the biker begins to run and the runner picks up the bike and begins to cycle. The next mile they do it again. The competitors continue to leapfrog through the entire course like this until they hit the last obstacle--a gigantic mudpit--which they get to cross together to end the race! Doesn't this sound like fun?! I'm so psyched!!

So . . . my dear gal pal Debbie (she's the wrestler covered in jello with me above) and I are already registered for the Muddy Buddy as the "Dirty Divas." Wahoo!! Why "Dirty Divas" you may ask? Well, the etymology of "diva" is Italian, literally meaning "goddess," from Latin, feminine of divus (divine, god). Debbie and I are both divine in more ways than one (we're strong, confident women who know what we're worth!) and fully accept the little bit of "dirty" we know we've got inside, so it seems to fit well. Our motto is, "Embrace the goddess within." Our logo (created by a dear friend Albert--call me if you want his contact info) is as follows and is going to be placed on t-shirts and perhaps even tattooed on our backs:


The race is August 20th in Boulder, and all are invited to come and cheer the Dirty Divas on! (Of course, I do believe registration is still open if you'd rather race yourself! Check out www.muddybuddy.com for more details.) Now that I've had my fun in jello and mud is soon to be crossed of the list, I wonder which substance I'm going to play in next??? The adventure continues . . .

WANTED: Attitude Adjustment . . . NOW!

This strong, smart, courageous, fun-loving, energetic, and excited almost 24 year old is looking to find a new attitude as the one on her plate today does NOT meet her usual extremely high standards! Instead of the positive, bright, and cheerful demeanor she usually finds herself in, a number of circumstances have dampened the spirits of the day:

1. It's raining. Beyond that, the weather that has brought the much-needed moisture to our land is not conducive to playing in. : (

2. Best friend is MIA. My long-awaited ice cream date with a dear friend has seemingly been cancelled. Despite several contacts on my part (in person, over the phone, and by email), there has been nothing in terms of returned communication today. I'm sure the miss is not intentional, however I am saddened I will not get to see her as planned. More than that, though, I also am a little bit worried since the no-show and no-contact move is not like her. I do hope everything is okay.

3. The computer crashed. All 5000 photographs, dozens of important documents, and several forms and code lists (work-related) that were saved are gone forever. The kicker is, the back-up disc on which everything had been saved in case something outrageous like this happens (I'm too smart and too anal to not be prepared for something like this), is corrupted. Turns out it was re-formatted incorrectly by an un-named party who was attempting to help me out prior to the crash. God bless my mother.

4. Tomorrow is Monday. Normally, this point alone means nothing since my attitude is generally up-beat regardless of the day of the week (although admittedly a little extra effort is usually needed to keep Monday in good light), HOWEVER . . . the fact that today hasn't gone exactly as planned on top of the fact that I get to go to work bright and early tomorrow morning (and the big cheeses will be back in the office) seems to be contributing to the gloomy aura of the day. Knowing that Raleigh's short yet sweet vacation is also over has me a bit on the sad end as well. Somehow I felt more comfortable and relaxed knowing he was enjoying himself and knowing those long hard days of sleeping in are over is less than exciting for both of us, I'm sure.

Alright, that's about it. I am not able to bring myself to list any other semi-negative aspects to the day as I don't want to focus on them. Really, I don't. I'd much rather focus on the positive things and all the wonderful people that are present in my life. I am SO grateful for every single one of them and if I were to list them out, I'd see they far outweigh the measly 4 items I've listed above.

So that's that. A new attitude is wanted? Consider it done. Attitude adjusted. : )

And the truth shall set you free . . .

Ok, so I've said it for years yet it's finally hit me right between the eyes (or square in the heart, depending on how you look at it) . . . Life doesn't always have to be complicated!! There you go, that's it. Plain and simple. Right now, everything has seemingly fallen into place, just as I have long envisioned it would.

Did I ever doubt that I'd find myself here? Of course . . . however those moments were just that--moments. They never lasted for long as I'm too confident of a woman to think that I'm not worth every ounce of happiness I'm feeling right now. It's true it's been a long time coming, however I knew the day would eventually arrive. (If you are doubting me, check out my previous blogs to see my persevering positive attitude shining on even in the midst of dark and gloom . . . and then check your attitude to see if it's gotten you what you want today!) Anyways, here I am . . . content as a clam and oh so excited to see what the future is bringing.

So why am I smiling brighter than usual? Well, there have been lots of great things going on in my life lately, and upon reflection, I realized that I've finally hit all of the goals I'd set for myself this year (see my blog on Jan. 1 "2006, Bring It On!" for more details)! I've highlighted some of the biggest and brightest here:

*On May 12th, I mentioned I was looking for an amazing man to dance with me in life. Well . . . out of nowhere a super-sexy, passionate, giving, courageous, faithful, financially stable, emotionally available, kind, caring, supportive man who finds me as worthy as I know I am and continues to grow and improve himself as well has made his way onto the dancefloor of my heart and I am thrilled. There is something so easy about being with him . . . it just doesn't make logical sense. That being said, I'm not questioning it, rather I'm loving every moment I get to spend with him and every opportunity I have to get to know him better. And with each turn, I realize more and more just how wonderful he is (seriously--I don't think I've ever met someone who has jumped far above my incredibly-high standards as he has). Regardless of the outcome (although I'm anticipating it to be a rather good one), I'm having a blast with an amazing man that I'm certain will remain in my life forever.
*Earlier this year, I received the promotion in my career I've long been working for. The raise in salary (although smaller than I hoped) and offical title change was also achieved. It's true--To Think is to Create!!
*I'm still working on achieving my physical goal of an even stronger and healthier body (including a flat tummy and more toned biceps/triceps and thighs), however with each day I work out I get closer to closing (or at least maintaining) that goal. Jello wrestling occurred last weekend (what a blast!) and I feel very good about how I was feeling and looking at that event. Next up--Muddy Buddy in August 2006!
*And as always, I'm working towards creating #10 relationships with all of my friends and family. I would not be where I am if it wasn't for (at least in part) all the love and support I've received from my friends and family for as long as I can remember. Each one is very special to me (and if you're reading this, I'm talking to you), and I am determined to let each of you know by my actions and words just how much you mean to me. I love you all.

Ok, so that about wraps it up (well, the big things anyway) for now. I'm sure I'll have lots more to report on later, as those of you who know me well do know--I don't stop here. I'm a mover and a shaker and am not one to ever stop growing and loving and giving and living . . . so hang tight! I guarantee there will be more fun and smiles to follow as I don't do it any other way! :)

So I believe this is proof again--truth leads to liberty, true freedom. When things are this good, the skeptic in me often asks if this is "too good to be true?" Yet I'm shaking my head big time on this one--the truth does NOT have to be complicated. This is certainly not too good, and it's definitely true. And baby, I'm ready for more!!! :)

Phenomenal Woman

To all the phenomenal women in my life . . .

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

~Maya Angelou